This is a continuation of the video I posted two weeks ago about setting limits and controlling contingencies. This second part of the training took place the following Friday, and went into working with older kids. I showed a video of me pushing a kid in a situation where she was having trouble with the way she was feeling. I worked hard at keeping her engaged, keeping her in a continuous flow, using her higher Functional Emotional Developmental Capacities when she had access to them, and moving down to help her regulate when she had trouble. It went on for quite a while, but she finallywas able to regain her composure, without me ever giving her the kiss she kept asking me for, and went back to the fantasy play situation we were engaged in. I end the video with a pooping rhinoceros story, to illustrate that there are good reasons why controlling contingencies is not always the way to go, and how being able to discern different situations, with flexibility and abstraction are important!
Gil Tippy, PsyD talks about Limit Setting, Controlling Contingencies, DIR and the Pooping Rhinoceros
24 Feb3 Responses to “Gil Tippy, PsyD talks about Limit Setting, Controlling Contingencies, DIR and the Pooping Rhinoceros”
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December 1, 2010
[…] Dr. Gil Tippy's Child Development Blog: Watch video presentations about child psychology research dealing with mentoring and more. Recommended Posts: World Autism Awareness Day and Gil Tippy, PsyD talks about Limit Setting, Controlling Contingencies, DIR and the Pooping Rhinoceros […]
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Dr. Gil Tippy
Gil's primary office is in Nassau County, NY. He also has an office in Sonoma County, CA. He is available virtually for individuals, schools and clinics, worldwide. Call 516-922-4091, or email gil.tippy@gmail.com to inquire or schedule an appointment.
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hey gil,
great post. in working in a relationship-based model, it’s so important to be aware of our countertransferential responses, and how those responses, if not tended to, get in the way of the therapy process- then we need to ask ourselves, “who’s need am I meeting? mine? or the child’s?”
best,
John C
Thanks John,
You are the premier music therapist around, working in the DIR Model, so your comments are really welcome. I really believe, that we all get into this field because we want to take care of kids. It takes time and experience and time to get to the place where you realize that to push kids is really to be taking care of them, as not pushing, appropriately, within a developmental framework, is to leave them where they are. Every kid has a pace all his own, but we have to mix respect and love with a determination to move kids. I have found it hard over the years, so thanks for the comment asking us to look at whose needs are being met.
Gil